How We Met
According to Ally:
A few months prior to Dave's first email, I had just ended a rocky engagement and had decided that I did not want to be in another serious relationship for quite some time. I was in a short-lived casual relationship until June of that year, and still was not ready for anything serious.
But once school started again, I got frusterated with the fact that there were very few Catholics on campus to talk to, and with my insane schedule, it was impossible to ever meet with them. A friend told me about catholicsingles.com so I went on it because of the free trial period. I set up a profile, but mainly hung out in the chatrooms so I can talk to Catholic men and women. I had gotten a few email messages from guys, so I answered them, even though I did not want to be any more than friends. So, when Dave's email first came, I answered it like I would any other person....but as you will read in his story, what should have been one or two exchanges quickly turned into more....
According to Dave:
It all started in August, 2001. After years of not being able to find anyone compatible, the thought finally occurred to try searching on the web for sites for Catholic singles. I searched on Yahoo and two sites came up prominently. I checked the two out, and joined of them. After three weeks, I was emailing with a few people, but nothing much was coming of it. Finally one day I did the search again, found the other site, and joined it too - Catholic-Singles.com. The site was more expensive and didn't have as many features, but I thought I'd try it anyway.
On August 28th, I saw Allison's profile, thought she sounded interesting (and looked pretty darn cute too), so I dropped her an email. Right from the start, we found all kinds of little things that we disagreed on. I'm allergic to dogs, hate mushrooms, and don't like getting sand in my shoes. She wants huskies, likes mushrooms (yuck!), and loves the beach! But for several days we wrote very long emails debating about minute aspects of Catholicism. In the end, we found that we agreed on a lot more than we disagreed on, but at first I thought we'd only end up as friends! We emailed and talked on AOL almost daily.
On September 23rd, her 21st birthday, we spoke on the phone for the first time - for about three hours! I was so nervous and could hardly think of anything to say, but she can find anything to talk about - all interesting things too! One thing I learned is that she has a weakness for raspberry cheesecake. The following week, I called the Cheesecake Factory and ordered one delivered to her. When she got it, she told me that awhile back she had said to her friend, "that any guy who would put a cheesecake...with raspberries in it...in front of my face *without prompting....* I would *have* to marry... LOL!!!!!! So, we both cracked up when I told her about the package..." From then on, I not-so-jokingly referred to myself as "betrothed via cheesecake". Hahaha!!
A few more weeks went by, and I was telling everyone about this wonderful girl who I didn't think I'd ever get to meet. But then I was planning a trip out to Massachussetts to visit a friend. Knowing that Ally wanted to go to school there, I got her and my friend talking. This helped her feel more comfortable that I was real, not just a fake internet psycho. So she finally gave in and invited me up to meet her. I was ecstatic! We originally planned for the weekends of 11/2 and 11/30, but I have yet to miss a weekend since that first one. :)
I went up to see her Friday, November 2nd. I arrived at the dorm where I was staying at around 7:30, and paced around nervously for about three hours before she popped in after returning from work! She was so sweet and adorable! But we were both incredibly nervous, trying to get used to each other as real people, not just words and voices. When she left, I had no clue what the next day would bring. Saturday morning we went out for coffee, then I went to the football game where she was cheering. Afterwards we were sitting in her room, and I knew we were about to part for an hour or so to get ready for dinner, and before I left I made a bold move - I kissed the top of her head! Then I got a nice hug before leaving. :) So far so good! We went out to dinner with three friends of hers and had a wonderful time. That night we had our first kiss! The next day we went to church together, and later that evening, amidst a lot of deep and emotional discussions, I told her that I loved her. And she said she loved me too!! And from that point, we were official!
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Our Engagement Story
According to Dave:
Ring Shopping
Just two weeks later, November 16th, I found myself at the jewelry store. I knew I wanted to marry this girl. But I had some learning to do about diamonds! I had no intention of buying anything, but they showed me a beautiful ring at a good price, with a 90 day return policy, so I bought it! My friend has a cousin who manages a jewelry store, so I knew I would be doing some price shopping. But that weekend, there came a time where I needed Allison to know that I was committed for the long haul, so despite my hopes of keeping it secret, I told her that I bought something that day.... She about flipped! I think that really caught her by surprise. :) She begged for the details on the ring, so I told her. But, I warned her not to get too attached, because I would be doing some more shopping around, but would settle for nothing lower quality. Over the next few weeks she went through a few different choices on how she wanted her final ring and band set to look, and finally decided on a gold solitaire (as the ring was already set) and gave me a few ideas on the band. Then in December I went to see my friend's cousin, Timmy. I looked at a few stones, but then told him my situation in detail, and he said he'd get back to me the next week with comparable stones. But, while I was there I found the perfect wedding band! As soon as I saw it I knew it was just right. Then the following week, he showed me a stone similar to the one I'd already bought, but outsparkled it by quite a bit! It was perfect. Now, how could I keep this all from Ally for the next two and half months? I wasn't going to propose until February 23rd, at the President's Ball at her college. Well the answer is simply, that I couldn't. LOL! Over time she knew that I had the ring, but didn't know when I was going to propose.
The Date
It turns out that I didn't either. You see, a long time ago she told me about her dream proposal: on the beach at night in New England. She mentioned that "the guy" would manage to work in something with candles and raspberry cheesecake too!!
So, Ally had first said that she wanted to wait at least 6 months from when we first started talking, which would mean sometime after February. At first I was thinking her graduation in May... then Easter Sunday (3/31)... then I was set on Feb. 23rd. But then we were talking online on Thursday, 12/20, and she was saying how we were essentially engaged already, since we were planning a wedding and all. And I said, "be careful or I might ask on Jan. 3rd!" and I was totally kidding, but as soon as I typed it the wheels started spinning and it all sounded like an awesome idea!!! I realized that it really wasn't too early, there was no need to wait, and that I had the perfect opportunity to make her dreams come true with a New England beach proposal. I'd be a fool not to!!! I didn't go to bed till 3am as I thought of everything I had to do. The next day I called the jeweler to see if I could pick up the ring that week instead of in February, and I emailed my friend in MA to see if she would help me with the plan. Two weeks before I bought this cool gel candle with sand and seashells in it, like what she described she wants for our wedding centerpieces. I wanted to work it into the proposal somehow, and now I knew how!! I went to see my parents in Cleveland on 12/23, and picked up the ring. I had to figure out how to tell my parents that I would be bringing home not just my girlfriend, but my future fiancee!! So, after we finished opening our presents, I said "I have a surprise of my own for you guys" and pulled out the ring and showed it to them. The first thing they did was examine the ring and the band under a magnifying glass!! LOL!!
Permission
So, she came and met my parents, then we went back to Michigan. Next step: dad's permission! My plan (and she knew it) was to ask him during the basketball game where she was cheerleading, last Saturday 12/29. But I was getting worried, because he was only going to go if Ally's five year-old sister wanted to, and she wasn't too sure. So I had to beg and beg her to please go to the game, because I'd be lonely without her there to play with, LOL!! Well, she finally decided to go, yay! During the first half I was so nervous, and I didn't know when I should ask. Then halftime rolled around, and her dad and I were in the stands. Ally's sister was all over the place, then finally Ally came over and took her out in the hall and off to run around the gym. So, I took the chance, and I told him "Well, next week in Massachussets, I plan on proposing to Allison, and I'd like to do so with your blessing." According to him, he said "go ahead," I said "what?" and he said "I'll let you slide on this one." But I only remember the last part!! LOL!!! Strangely, he had a fortune cookie earlier that day that said, "Accept the first proposal that you are given today." Whew, so that was down too... now I just had to ask!
The Proposal
Well I can't keep a secret for anything, especially from Ally, who is incredibly perceptive, observant, and persistent. So by the time we got out to MA, she knew I would be proposing on the beach there. But that's okay! Around 4:30 or so, we got back to my friend's after a driving tour of crazy downtown Boston. We packed up the thermos of hot water, the cameras, the blanket, and of course the raspberry hot chocolate mix, and headed out for Nantasket beach. We parked as soon as we could, right along the beach. We went down to the beach, and brrrrr it was cold!! We started walking, when Ally became enthralled with the seashells. We gathered up a few and put them up in the car and got the blanket, thermos and so on, then went back down and set them on a stone bench. We drank our hot chocolate and held each other for a bit, then she said "Let's walk for a while." So we started walking, and my head was swimming with what I wanted to say. After a little while I stopped and faced her. I kissed her and said "Allison." Then I kissed her again as I tried to get my thoughts together. "Allison..." "What?" Then I said a few things that are between us. I got down on my knee in the cold wet sand, which I didn't even notice. She started crying and said "I wasn't supposed to cry!" I said "I wasn't supposed to be nervous!" Then I took her hand, took off her glove, and took the box out of my coat pocket. I asked her to marry me, took the ring out of the box, she said "yes", and I put it on her finger.
We got our things and went back up to the car. She called her mother from the car while I waited outside. I told Ally the evening wasn't over yet, and she apparently had forgotten the rest of her dream proposal, because she was like "No, that was perfect, that was everything I wanted down there." LOL! Eventually we made it back to my friend's house. We walked in the door, and there were candles lit on the dinner table and elsewhere, music playing quietly, and on the kitchen table, two slices of raspberry cheesecake!! It was the same kind I bought for her back in October, when she told me that she'd told a friend how she would have to marry the first guy who bought her raspberry cheesecake!! In the middle of the table was the ocean gel candle I'd bought a few weeks ago. She lit it and let it burn while we ate, and every year on that date we'll light it again over dinner and dessert to celebrate our engagement anniversary.
Dave's Web Site:
www.geocities.com/shardede
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